Punjabi Jokes

Punjab Meets Here !

Home > JOKES >

[an error occurred while processing this directive]

Astro . Attitude . Calender . Chat . Health . Jokes . Matrimonial . News

Newsletter . Postcards . Recipes . Vote . Message Boards

Jokes

Banta without a licence was going in the two wheeler. The traffic police caught him and asked for the licence. He told I know the IG. All police saluted him. After some time he says but the IG DOES not know me.

Santa goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, 'Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?' To this the man replies,
' Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,'Wash Basin'.

Restaurant Manager: ' Why are you looking worried?'
Chef: 'There are lot of ants in soup and other cooked food. I do not know what to do.'
Restaurant Manager: ' Don't worry. I will annownce that today we are having Chinese Food festival!'

A Girl to her boy friend
Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
Mohabat ek se hoti hai, hazaron se nahi
A Boy to his girl friend
chandni agar chand se hogi, to sitaron ka kya hoga
chandni agar chand se hogi, to sitaron ka kya hoga
Mohabat agar ek se hogi hai, to hazaron ka kya hoga

There was a farmer who grew watermellons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermellon patch at night and eat his watermellons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.
He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read: 'Warning! One of the watermellons in this field has been injected with cyanide.'
The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermellons are missing, but the sign next to his read: 'Now there are two!!!'

Once a doctor went to a mental hospital. he was walking by a room and saw a guy holding his ear to the wall, so the doc went to that guy and pushed him aside and tried to listen so the doc put his ear against the wall and said i don't hear anything. that guy slaped the doctor and said i'm listening to this wall for 20 years i don't hear anything you just came and how the hell can you hear something.

A man walks into the bar really depressed.
The bartender asks him what his problem is.
“My dog just died and the damn vet charged me Rs 10,500.”
Says the bartender: “Wow, that is pretty high. What did the vet do?”
“Not much. I took the dog in there and told him, you got to help him Doc, this is the best dog I have ever had. The vet pokes at him for a few minutes and says, ‘I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.’ I said ‘Come on doc, this is my best dog, there’s got to be something you can do.’ The vet says, ‘OK, we can try one more thing.’ He goes over to this cage and grabs this cat and brings it over to the dog and swings it around the dog’s head. The vet says, ‘sorry but he’s gone. That’ll be Rs 10,500.’ I said, ‘What! Rs 10,500 to declare the dog dead?” He says, ‘Yeah. Rs 500 for the office visit and Rs 10,000 for the CAT scan.”

Scene: A woman comes to Ajit for suggesting a name/s for her kids .
Woman: Sir , mein apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Iskaa naam Peter rakh do!
Woman: Mera doosra ladkaa bhi hai , jo iskaa twin hai. Mein uskaa naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Uskaa naam Repeter rakh do!

Mike is causing trouble and Ajit and Robert are discussing it.
Robert: Bass !!! Mike humein jeene nahin dega !!
Ajit: Koi Baat Nahin, Robert, Usey CHAMPAGNE mein bhigo do, SHAME usey jeene nahin dega aur PAIN usey marney nahin dega... ha ha ha

Robert: Boss, is peter ke bacche ne hamare saath gaddari ki hai.
Ajit: Robert , usay revalving chair me bita dho, patha chal jayega ki 'chakkar' kya hai..

A Young couple moved into a new house. The wife was attractive but aloof. Being unable to hold out any longer, the eager neighbour once spotted her hanging her washing, and said " Behenji, your cow has eaten up my marigolds."
"That can't be true," protested the pretty neighbour. " We don't have a cow."
" I don't have marigolds either," replied the smart aleck, "but I don't like so much distance between neighbours."

Young lady: “My husband is always telling me to go to hell. I would like to know if I could legally take my children with me.”

Santa and Banta opened a restaurant and placed a sign outside the restaurant - Closed 4 hours a day.
Simply because they knew numbering up to 3 only.

Mrs Santa travelling by a DTC bus with her nine childern who occupied seats all over the bus. An irate lady passenger admonished her: ' Behenji, apnee raizgaree sambhall leejiye.' ( Please collect your small change.)
Mr Santa snapped back: ' Aisey lagta hai abhee aap ka note toota nahin.' ( It appears your currency note is still intact.)

Banta Singh saw an exhausted Santa Singh running up to him.
What happened to you Santaji?"
"There was this nasty big bull in my street that nearly killed me today."
"Oh really, what happened?"
"I was just walking quietly wearing this red shirt, when the animal came charging at me like a locomotive!He almost got me!"
"So, how'd you get away?"
"Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over."
"That"s scary Santaji. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place."
"Oye! I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?"

Contributed by: Ankur, U.S.A.

JOKES Archive

Guest Book !

Advertise

Did You Chat Today ? Click Here

Jokes are collected from different sources.
Punjablinks.com cannot be held liable for any personal damage caused,
Relevance to a particular person is purely a coincidence.